Identical Twins? Only in Men, Says Witness

by Taylor Traxilopolis, Paragon News Network

ATLAS PARK/MERCY ISLE - Protecting our fair citizens in Atlas Park or menacing them in Mercy Isle?

You decide.

Today, dear readers, just might be a case of mistaken identity. Identical twins -- both um, gay from the get-go, but one let's say, erm, one more evil than the other.

(can I say that on this network, Ed? Oh, okay. Thanks.)

I bring you, average audience, Size Queen! (watch an intro to Size Queen :32) and Size Queen, Too! (watch an intro to Size Queen, Too :32) -- identical twins and bitter enemies.

"Talk about fighting from the moment they were born," says Power.Boy, former "special friend" and now co-sponsor to Size Queen.

"Of course one look at the two of them and you know instantly they're, well, brothers."

Power.Boy seemed to fade away at this point, a silly grin crossing his face. Catching himself, he laughed, then said "Whew, lemme tell ya, though -- to me, Size Queen will always be number one in my book, and well, Size Queen, Too is well, number two, if you get my meaning."

What does he mean?

"I'm sure I don't know -- but it's not like he's a recuit or anything," sighed Power.Gal, snapping her gum and looking bored but fabulous in her new D&G supersuit, cape and everything. "It's not like they notice anything about me but my shoes."

Then why the fuss?

"I think he's really cute," giggled Lil Bunny Foo Foo from her cell phone in The Hollows. "Which one? Oh, I don't know, both?"

"NO COMMENT," stated Power.Woman flatly. "Like Size.Queen even has a chance at membership!"

Sounding more than a little bitter, she continued: "Those two size queens have nothing to do with Power, Incorporated, period. And yes, we're supportive of our gay and lesbian hero members, but this isn't about that," she finished flatly, rolling her eyes and gesturing to her numerous supportive ribbons. "And no, I don't care to elaborate," she yelled over her shoulder after taking flight at a remarkable speed.

But, dear readers, how can two --yes TWO brothers -- TWIN brothers, much less -- have such different personalities?

"I don't know, and I can't begin to explain it," sighed Power.Lad. "But they definitely have the same taste in men," he concluded, refusing to elaborate.

The terrible-but-innocent, the tremulous, titillating tumecent twins.

Hot stuff or a tempest brewing?

Dear readers, you decide. Meanwhile, I'll be watching.

Hero or Villain? Meet Electro.Dude

By Sally Vertox, The Hollows Hard Times

THE HOLLOWS - Have you heard of him? If not, you will. He's Paragon City's freshest hero, and he's Power, Incorporated's newest recruit -- he's Electro.Dude, and he claims he's here to help us all find redemption.

Or is he?

Here's what this reporter has learned so far.

When he was a baby, Electro.Dude was found on the steps of The Holy Mother Church of God. Raised by a very strict and religious couple, his chosen path was towards the priesthood. Until puberty hit, that is.

According to witnesses, that's when his physical changes began, and when his adopted parents started to believe that he was of the Devil -- a pawn of Satan. Convinced only they could help him, he only barely escaped his 14th birthday celebration -- a midnight beheading his parents believed would exorcise Satan from him.

Desperate to find others more like himself, he ran away to Paragon City, donned a supersuit and began operating under the moniker Electro.Dude. But without the guidance of other heroes or a mentor of some sort, he slowly drifted to the wrong side of the law.

Fighting for the Trolls and the Skulls whenever he needed money; his future changed when a chance encounter with Power, Incorporated's Power.Boy left him healed and clear minded for the first time in a long while. They developed a fast friendship, and before long, Power.Boy agreed to sponsor him for membership in the famous supergroup.

Membership doesn't come easy, however. Witnesses report that Power.Boy and Power.Woman had a terrific row about Electro.Dude's past, the rumors that he can channel powerful forces as well as electricity, and whether or not he would revert to villain work. In the end, she relented, but very sternly admonished Electro.Dude, warning that she would be watching him closely.

Has she made a grave mistake? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, this reporter caught up with Electro.Dude for a few answers.

Sally Vertox: "So, Electro.Dude, tell us. When did you first discover your powers?"

Electro.Dude: "Well, I was only 11 when the marks on my face first began to appear, and in a few short months, I was shocking every person who touched me. It wasn't until I was 16 that I was able to finally wrestle control over the tremendous amount of electric power coursing through my body, however."

SV: "And a nice body it is, too. So when did you decide you wanted to be a hero?"

ED: "I really don't know. I've always wanted to be one, I suppose. It really wasn't an option for me until Power, Incorporated came into my life. So I guess I'd say it was a few months ago that the decision to be a hero was really made."

SV: "What made you think you have the 'right stuff' to be a hero in Paragon City, given your history with the Skulls and the Trolls?"

ED: "Everyone knows this city has a dark side, but I know how to defeat it. My work with the Skulls and Trolls is part of that knowledge. The fair citizens of this city will just have to trust in Power, Incorporated and me - and that we know what we're doing.

SV: When did you decide to join Power, Inc.?

ED: Well, I haven't joined officially. I'm actually still in training, so I'm not a full member yet. I mean, unless PW says its okay to join, I won't actually be a member at all! But my good friend
Power.Boy has been a great sponsor and friend -- and he's the real reason why I want to join. So we'll see how I do in training - only time will tell. But I'm confident it'll be no problem, as long as I don't piss off PW.

SV: "What's been your best mission so far?"

ED: "Any mission where I get a chance to team up with members of Power, Incorporated is the best. And sometimes the most dangerous. But I always learn something new. Most recently I've been spending a lot of time in The Hollows, and recently helped defeat Frostfire again, who keeps reappearing despite being arrested countless times."

SV: "What was your worst?"

ED: "The sewers, definitely. I hate them. They bring back some very bad memories. No more on that question!"

SV: "Do you have anything you'd like to say to my readers?"

ED: "Have faith in me, and I'll prove to you that anyone can find redemption."

Redemption indeed.

This reporter thinks the jury is still out on THAT one.