Power.Lad Finds Cooties Cure

By Horace Wazzlebub, Paragon City Chronicle

STEEL CANYON - Citizens suffering from Vahzilok Wasting Disease (also known as VWD or "cooties") finally have hope. A cure to the dreadful disease, which is characterized by a horrible smelling swarm of flies that surround its victim's body, has finally been perfected by three scientists who were rescued late last night by the hero Power.Lad.

"I caught VWD during my last raid on the Vahzilok in the sewers beneath the city," said Power.Lad. "I'd known about VWD, of course, but you just don't know what it's like until you have it. And I knew then that I had to help."

The scientists, who refused to be named for this article, had been kidnapped by the infamous villain Patient Zero, himself a member of the Vahzilok supervillain class. They were held by the villain in an abandoned office building in the Steel Canyon district of Paragon City, where they were forced to work in make-shift labs to duplicate their ground-breaking work.

Acting on a secret tip, Power.Lad entered the building alone, defeated Patient Zero and his gang, destroying the four laboratories, and escorted the three scientists to safety. As thanks for their rescue, the scientists provided him with the first sample of the VWD antitote, which worked perfectly.

"Needless to say, it's nice not to smell like rotting flesh," grinned Power.Lad. "And I don't miss the flies, either."

When asked by this reporter about rumors that four glowing body bags were recovered from the building later that evening, the hero refused to comment, saying only "let's just focus on the fact that we now have a cure for cooties, shall we?"

Victims of the VWD should contact their doctor immediately for more information about this exciting new development.